As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain.
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me.
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity.
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin cows.
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows. Fool.
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline.
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin.
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine, then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise.
I've churned butter once or twice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
It's hard work and sacrifice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
We sell quilts at discount price.
Living in an Amish paradise.

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week.
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek.
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well.
Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell.
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it.
An Amish with a attitude? You know that's unheard of.
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat.
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool.
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears.
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years.
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare.
We're just technologically impaired.

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar.
Not a single luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe.
It's as primitive as can be.

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise.
I've churned butter once or twice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
It's hard work and sacrifice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
We sell quilts at discount price.
Living in an Amish paradise.

Hitchin up the buggy, churnin lots of butter.
Raised the barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another.
Think you're really righteous? 
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art.
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like.
On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife.
So don't be vain and don't be whiny.
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hiney.

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise.
I've churned butter once or twice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
It's hard work and sacrifice.
Living in an Amish paradise.
We sell quilts at discount price.
Living in an Amish paradise.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah yech.